Engineering Humor

** These Jokes are for enjoyment purposes only. They are not affiliated with the organization.**

Q: What is the difference between
Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons,
Civil Engineers build targets."

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer,
a chemical, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer.
The car breaks down. "Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized.
We'll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again", says the mechanical engineer.
"Well", says the chemical engineer,
"it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated.
I think we should clear out the fuel system.
"I thought it might be an grounding problem", says the electrical engineer, "or maybe a faulty plug lead."
They all turn to the computer engineer who has said nothing and say:
"Well, what do you think?"
"Ummm - how about if we all get out of the car and then get back in again?"

The Sensitivity of the Technical Mind
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him."

"Hey George, say what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they?"
The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad, I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my opthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

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Last updated: 11/19/05

Last Modified By: Patricia Roy